You've got to be kidding me
by xXIvana BraginskiXx
Summary: You know what happens when you click an ad at 4 in the morning? Nonsense happens, that's what. Manual fic! Rating may change in the future to be safe!


AN: My first serious fic ever. It's really bleh.

**Disclaimer: Manuals belong to Lollidictator**

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You know, sometimes, I really wonder what posses' me to stay up until four in the morning and say yes to an unknown advertisement. Why was I up at 4, you ask? Well, that's simple, Skyrim, video games, anime, that sort of thing. Obviously a very good reason to be on the computer to the detriment of my health, right?

Yes. Yes it is.

Now, you might be wondering where I'm going with all of this, yes? Last night, or should I say this morning, I was checking my Deviantart, something I do every day (And too much at that). I saw an ad at the top above my profile that read, "Order your very own Hetalia Unit today!" Of course, me, being the kind of person to get giddy for no reason about these things, clicked on the ad. There it read, "Congratulations! You have ordered your unit! Your unit will arrive within 2-3 business days. Please keep in mind that the first one is free, and any after that, must be paid for."

After seeing that message, I was extremely excited. I mean, who didn't love to get free figures? I realized when the package actually came, that this couldn't be any normal sized figure. I opened the door to the front of my house, expecting nothing but a small brown package. Instead, I found myself face to face with a human sized cardboard box along with a smaller box, and the face of a young, blond man.

"Package for uh… William Frederick?" The man said, holding out a clipboard with a sign here line. Before you ask, no that isn't me. It's my dad's name. I'm too young to order things online by myself, as I'm only 14 years old. So I kinda… did that without my dad's permission… hehehe…

"Oh, I'll sign it. My dad is busy right now." I half-lied. He was busy with work… But I think he was just playing online poker because he does that a lot for some reason. I took the clipboard from the man's hands, and quickly signed my name on it, eager to see what exactly was in the box. The man handed me the smaller box.

"Well, have a nice day Miss…?"

"It's Jennifer. You have a nice day too… Roy." I glanced at his name tag.

Well, before I open these boxes, I guess I should describe myself. I have long dark brown hair, down to my lower back, and hazel eyes with a tint of gold. I have a couple of scars on my face, a result from a few accidents I had when I was younger. I also have dark blue glasses that will be replaced soon. I'm currently wearing a black T-shirt with a Flying Mint Bunny on it, and dark blue skinny jeans.

"Well, let's see what's in here…" I mumbled under my breath. I grabbed a box cutter knife from my dad's office, and quickly cut along the tape. The box came loose, and I opened the box slowly, for an added effect. Inside was a pile of clothes, some kind of kit, and 3 white flags. I picked up a small booklet that said "FELICIANO VARGAS: User Guide and Manual"

"What's this?" I wondered aloud. Probably how to turn the robot on and such…

"Hey Jennifer?" my dad called from his office.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going out golfing with some friends; I'll be back in about 4 hours. Mom called and said she doesn't know when she'll be back, but it will be a while."

"Ok!"

I swiftly returned my gaze to the booklet in front of me. Programming… Activation… I think I'm going for activation… I read through the options on how to activate the unit. Boiling water? Tug on his… What. That's pretty strange, for a robot and all. Maybe it isn't a robot? What exactly is it then…?

I decided to go with the former option, since the latter was… inappropriate. I dragged the box to my kitchen, struggling, as the box was really heavy, like that of any other person. Welp, let's do this.

I grabbed a pot from under the stove and filled it with water from the sink. I switched the burner on high, and placed the pot on top of the stove carefully. I have no idea what I'm doing. I think I'm supposed to stop when it starts to bubble…

I waited a little over five minutes when the water started to bubble and fizz. I heard a loud slam, followed with a pained cry. "Ow! Someone please save me! It's dark and scary!" a frantic voice called from within.

Wow. This is extremely realistic for a robot… I took the knife from earlier and made a slit in the box and opened it, curious. "Ve! Thank you so much for saving me! That box was dark and scary…. Ve!" Italy shot out of the box and hugged me way too tightly. "H-Hey! You're c-crushing me…" I gasped for breath, trying to push him away or at least loosen his grip. "Ve! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, bella!" he loosened his grip on my arms and apologized with tears in his eyes. "Hey, it's alright. I forgive you, so don't cry." He sniffled a bit. "O-Okay."

Well, that escalated quickly. How did they do it? He's almost like a real person… He can't be a robot. Perhaps a clone? I have no idea. In the meantime, I need to figure out what to do with him… If my parents see him, they'll freak out and I might get in trouble for keeping a "boyfriend" in the house. I guess he could hide in the basement guestroom. Nobody really goes down there anyways, so I may have a chance of keeping him a secret. "Alright, well… My name is Jennifer." I awkwardly started. "I'm Feliciano!~" He called out with a dimwitted smile.

"Well, follow me and I'll show you where you can stay." I'm going to die if my parents find out! I need to be very careful of what I do… Ugh, why did I click that stupid ad?

I made my way to the basement stairs, having a silent turmoil in my head. Feliciano followed behind me, not really questioning anything. I opened the door to the guest room and placed the box with his things on the bed. "Ok, so the closet is over there," I pointed to the corner of the room, "You can keep your things in there, there's a T.V. If you open this thingy here…" I pointed to a dresser looking cabinet and opened it, revealing an ancient T.V. "I may as well show you the whole house then… Anyways, when my parents are around, don't leave this room, got it? If they see you, I'll get in so much trouble, and I might lose you…" "Ay ay, Captain!" he saluted.

"Well, I'll show you the rest of the house." I went through a brief tour of the house, The basement having a door to the outside, a computer room, a bar, exercise equipment, and a couple of T.V.s, topped off with a refrigerator room where we had one refrigerator and a huge freezer. I then made my way to the first floor and showed the living room, the "picture room" (I call it that because of the table filled with picture frames in the middle of the room), the kitchen, two bathrooms, the foyer and back door, a dining room, and my dad's office. Lastly, I showed him the top floor, with my room, a guest room, the master bedroom, and my brother's room, which is currently unoccupied.

I sighed as I finished showing him the house. "Wow, you have a lot of anime stuff, ve." He said in awe. "What? Oh trust me, this is nothing compared to some people. I personally don't like my room… It's too pink."

"Why don't you get it redone?"

"My parents are too "busy" to help me redo it. I wish it was a soft turquoise…" I trailed off, thinking of the outcome of that.

"Well, do you want anything to eat? It's already lunchtime anyways." I asked, slowly making my way out of my room. "Ve~ Sure!"

"So let me guess. You want pasta?"

"Yeah!"

"Well, lucky for you, I have a ton of leftover pasta."

There's something about me too. I absolutely adore pasta. Almost as much as Italy, which is quite a lot. I usually have at least three kinds of leftover pasta in my fridge at a time, and that's what I eat for snacks.

"Leftovers? Ve…" He made a disdainful face.

"Oh, they're not bad actually. They taste just as good, like we just made them."

I opened the fridge door and grabbed a glass container filled with regular pasta. "We also have cheesy pasta too, if you want that." "I want the regular pasta, ve!" I kind of expected that. Facepalm. "Well, now I gotta figure this out…" I put bowls of pasta in the microwave, and attempted to put in a time for how long the pasta will be re-heated. Out microwave is broken, so I can't see the numbers on it. It's a touchscreen, and it makes a stupid noise when it's done…

I entered the numbers blindly and waited for the annoying tune to come.

BOO-DA BOO-DA BOO DA BOO-BOO

UGH, I hate that tune so much now! I used to like it, but then it got extremely annoying after a while. I handed him a bowl of pasta, and grabbed mine. I brought it over to the kitchen table and scarfed it down. I didn't realize how hungry I was until now… Italy basically did the same thing. Wow, we are hungry. I brought both of our bowls to the sink and soaked them, leaving them for later.

"Let's go down to the basement then. Want to play Halo 4?"

"Halo? I've never played that before, ve…"

Oh, it's like the best game ever! I just finished the main storyline yesterday with a friend. Two player campaign is really fun!" I was really excited to play games with Italy. I mean, he's like an exact replica of the original! How do you even do that? I plopped down onto a spiny chair in front of the T.V., and turned the Xbox on, grabbing two remotes, me being player 1 because that's a big thing. I'm always player 1 at my house. Always.

We started the game and ended up playing for about 4 hours, it was almost 5. "That was so cool, ve! I really liked the Forerunner guns, they were so awesome!"

"I know right? Those guns are so cool."

I heard a slam of a door from above, and I quickly jumped, shoving Italy to the guest room. "Hurry, get in there! They can't see you!" He stumbled forward and nodded, closing the door behind him. I walked upstairs with a disk case, making it seem like I went down there to get some games.

"Hi dad, did you win?"

"The golf game? No, my friend beat me pretty badly actually…" he trailed off, and made his way to his office. "I'm going to get back to work, bye."

"See you later dad, I'm going to be playing games in the basement!" I quickly fled to the basement and to the guest bedroom. "Well, my dad's working now, so we just need to be quiet and I think you won't be caught."

"I'm going to call a couple friends to see if they want to go to the mall, and we'll buy you clothes there."

"Ve~ Ok! We should play Halo again! It's so much fun!"

"Ah, in a little bit, I need to text my friends.

**January 03, 2013 5:12 PM**

**Ivan** Hey, do you wanna go to the mall tomorrow?

**Arthur** yeah, sure. I just need to check with my parents

**Ivan** K, I have a really awesome surprise~ XD

**Arthur** what is it? Now I wanna knowww

**Ivan** Tomorrow lol

**Arthur** okay my mum said I can go

**Ivan** K, see you tomorrow

**Arthur** yup

**January 3, 2013 5:18 PM**

**Ivan** Want to go to the mall with me and Arthur tomorrow?

**Feliciano** Yeah sure O u O

**Ivan** Again with the stupid faces?

**Feliciano** O2O

**Ivan** -_-

**Ivan** See you tomorrow then…

**Feliciano** O2O

**Ivan** …

I turned my phone off, and made my way back to the Xbox. "Alright, ready for another Halo session?"

"Ve! Yeah!" We grabbed out remotes and resumed campaign.

We ended playing until around 9:30 without eating. We weren't really hungry, since the meal from earlier was pretty filling.

"Well, I'm tired so I'm going to go to my room. I'll come downstairs tomorrow morning, so don't open the door ok?"

"Ok! I'll probably sleep in anyways, ve~" I facepalmed and made my way upstairs to my room. I checked a few things on my DA account, got ready for bed, changed my clothes, and shut the lights off, climbing under the covers. I seriously have no idea what happened here. What have I gotten myself into?


End file.
